Let’s talk about evil, suffering, and questioning God.
As the philosopher David Hume said:
“Is [God] willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then is he impotent? Is he able, but not willing? Then is he malevolent? Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil?”
Here are gut feelings I’ve had, and occasionally still pop up in my emotions:
It makes no sense to me that a “good God” would have created a world where a child gets cancer, and suffers horribly for months, and then dies. Why did he create if he knew this could happen? And then when it did happen, why didn’t he stop it?
I’m gonna quickly brush aside the “answers” as I personally see them all as completely inadequate to me.
Adam and Eve, the apple, and free will:
Even allowing that it’s “all our fault” because of their sin, and they “broke the universe” including releasing demons to reek havoc on our planet… a) it seems pretty shitty that a child who never chose good or evil has to suffer for that; b) it may not be God’s direct fault, but if he watches this child suffer, and doesn’t intervene, what the hell?!?
Calvinism and “Worm Theology”:
I recently saw this phrase by a Christian on a Facebook thread: “you and I are disgusting lost sinners.” Disgusting. God hates us from birth. If God is the god of the Calvinist… he’s a cold hearted god whom one will only worship out of fear.
God has limits:
Ok, this one is the only one that makes any sense to me. There are dozens of theological and philosophical approaches to this, including the new kid on the block, “process theology.” Depending on what these limits are, (God cannot make 2+2=5), all the way to God is incapable of intervening in a human choice, and all the books written about this metaphysical question, “What can God do and not do?”… it still comes up dry for me.
If God is Creator at all (and some question even this), what am I left with, a “god” who isn’t even as powerful as the Q from Star Trek? Or a deist god who somehow could create ex-nihilo but doesn’t give a crap now? Who needs those gods?
Ultimately, you’re left with this: if God chose to create, and he had half a brain, he had to have at least guessed that humans and angels with free will might mess up the universe. So again, the unanswerable question of “why” remains.
SUFFERING
I’ve suffered my entire life with severely messed up brain wiring I got within the first three years of my life. I didn’t choose it. I would have voted “abort me!” so I didn’t have to experience a life of pain and regret. But I didn’t get a vote.
You… you either have suffered severely yourself, been a victim of horrible injustice, or you personally know someone who has. Likely worse than mine.
I used to feel guilty for daring to challenge God and complain. To ask why. To be angry about the unfairness of it all.
I don’t anymore.
The Bible is FULL of just such talk:
“Jesus, if you’d just been here, my brother wouldn’t have died!” Martha
“How long oh Lord, will you forget me forever?” David
“God, you’re wrong! You can’t just wipe out an entire city! It’s beneath you!” Abraham
And my personal favorite:
“God, curse the man who did not kill me in my mother’s womb”
Jeremiah 20:14-18… you really should look it up and read it in its gut wrenching anger.
I’ve said “F you” to God more times than I can count. I’ve begged him to kill me, and cursed him when he didn’t.
WHAT I DO WITH THIS:
I stopped looking for an answer in 2011.
I was so exhausted by my bitter anger in 2011, that in a small group, in July, where my facilitator Ray had been saying for weeks… “Just be loved”… I finally broke down and said to God… yes… I will let you love me.
So… no answer. God was in my courtroom, charged with the crime of supreme unfairness… and I hung the jury.
I no longer put God on trial. I was so desperately in need of love, and I was experiencing God’s love right then in that class. A hog farmer with no pay, and no glory… a man with nothing to gain… looked at me with “Jesus eyes” and said… “Ken, just be loved.”
I saw in my heart God hanging on a tree, bleeding, and after hearing me curse him, look down and say, “Father, forgive Ken, cuz he does not understand what he’s doing.”
So that’s it.
I realize there’s no answer “good enough” for me.
Instead I choose to be loved by a God who suffered too.
And that love, just like then, is shown to me new every day by God through people. It’s left no more room for the anger and bitterness.
I ask God to give me “Jesus eyes” to look at my hurting neighbor and say… “Just be loved.”
I choose to let love fill my heart.
At Rest In Him 