My Stubborn Grasp

My grasp is a stubborn thing. I suppose it’s all part of that fight or flight response our flesh is hardwired for. God says “let go and fall into my arms” and I’m just about as ready to do that as I am to do a bungee jump. At least I can *see* the bungee cord that will catch me.

Oh, I talk a good game. I tell others to “fall into God’s loving arms.” But when He asks me to let go of, to stop grasping, the most precious and valuable things to me… that’s when I know that I know nothing of the kind of faith that moves mountains. This morning the Spirit woke me up with a verse from Philippians 2:

“Who (Jesus), being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped.”

The word “grasped” wouldn’t leave my mind. Not during coffee, not during quiet time with Him. All day that word has haunted me… just that one word. I see God the Son, the pre existent One by whom everything was created. I see Him, the Perfect One, leave heaven and lose everything for me.

He was not “hurled headlong flaming from th’ ethereal sky” like Satan. He did not “fall” into the manger, nor did he acquiesce to a stern and Holy Father’s demands.

He did not grasp heaven at all. His Father did not tear his fingers from heaven’s ledge.

He volunteered to come. He gave up everything willingly. “Lo, I come, to do thy will O God.”

I grasp. I cling. I will not let go, and somewhere deep inside me, I think I blame God for this. Why can’t He just pry my fingers away from that which is no real security? Why can’t He tear away the last few fingers of fear? After all… I have come so far, given up so much. Can’t He just pry these last grasping fingers from the ledge of self sufficiency?

Father wants me to enjoy life in Christ. This is the only life that will really satisfy me. The life of my Savior is one of complete dependence upon the Father, a life of sacrifice and love and incredible joy as I rest only in Him. But He requires that I release my grasp willingly before He can give me that life.

Lord Jesus, you live in me by your Holy Spirit. You will not force me to release my grasp. You are too kind and gentle to coerce my love. So I choose to release my grasp on the ledge of a life that can never meet my needs. I release you to fill me with every part of your life… a life of unconditional love, a life with no rights and no backup plans. I know from experience that everything I give to you is replaced by so much joy and power and “enoughness” that I will never thirst again. Thank you for your patience as I let loose every grasping finger.

4 thoughts on “My Stubborn Grasp

  1. When I read this in my email, for some reason, I thought it was Rebecca’s.. Great writing. Again.. the book I talked about in my last blog, really gets to my heart..along with your writing this blog. He went to church, always.. was raised in church, in a godly home, never without, never in want,..never lost a loved one, ..not a hurt like that where he would find himself questioning the Lord.. He and his wife, far as they knew had the strong faith. And.. then… his son got cancer. And the Lord made Himself known to him in a huge way. I love this blessing… and this blessing of your blog. Nothing to be concerned about.. it’s great.


  2. Thought provoking – and needed. So true – we want to hold on to some of what is *ours*, and not trust Him completely.


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