In the cave

I'm paralyzed with a sense of hopelessness. I feel very alone. I have barely enough strength to function in what they call "activities of daily living." To go to work... a burden I almost can't carry anymore. To talk to anyone... it takes all I have. I plead with God for mercy. I feel like … Continue reading In the cave

He must end me or mend me

I cannot go on as I am. And God is too kind to allow it. I despair of life. I need a doctor. But I've been to the doctors. Doctors of the body (MD) and doctors of the soul (M.Div). On their best days, they aren't enough. All the doctor's horses, and all the doctor's … Continue reading He must end me or mend me

Confrontation, clothing, and shame

Confrontation comes easily to me. Confrontation easily lends itself to words that fall too soon to unsay. Words that will ring in ears for a lifetime. Words that are the opposite of God's clothing. I want my clothing to be this: Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, … Continue reading Confrontation, clothing, and shame

Let go and let God

I can only know Christ when all else is stripped from my soul, and I bow in the dust...  desperate. Lost without him. Weak, helpless, dependent. If "let go and let God" means throwing myself into Jesus' arms... running to him and abandoning the idolatrous need for validation and affirmation from other things and other … Continue reading Let go and let God